I really don’t want to talk about the recent election. I feel like it is a tired subject and my opinion on the matter won’t change anything. However, I was asked what I wanted to do about, or rather how I felt that someone close to me voted or believed in the candidate I did not. In turn supporting beliefs that don’t align with mine at all and are likely to harm friends I care about and restrict access to healthcare I may need in the future. I didn’t have an answer right away… and then I thought about it.
If this was someone I didn’t really know or was just another face on the internet, even a coworker, I’d cut them off entirely. No use keeping people around if you can’t have a constructive discussion with them or have very different core values. I’ve been learning recently that you just can’t teach an old dog new tricks. It’s damn near impossible. That being said, this was family. While I am fully aware that people cut family off ALL THE TIME, I had spent enough time angry at mine and was too tired for it anymore.
It's a privilege to not have to concern yourself with politics. When you already have the seeming “American Dream” you only need to protect it, not change it. Older generations will never understand why younger generations are tired of worrying about the economy and are more concerned with their own autonomy and vice versa. My “American Dream” is so far off from what my parents’ is. I crave a life where I can make what I need to live and rest, a concept that seems entirely lost on a generation that was conditioned to work until 65 and hope they have enough to retire. As I listened to my sister tell me all the reasons she was upset all I could think about was boundaries.
I have set endless boundaries with people in my life recently. I have struggled for years with this, but last year something shifted in my deconditioning process with Human Design. I just couldn’t keep flailing and letting my family or friends walk all over me. I set radical boundaries and watched my relationship with my parents improve. I watched friends that didn’t align with me any longer disappear on their own. I care that they have an opinion that I don’t believe in, but I can’t change it for them. All I can do is try to understand why they feel this way when I cannot and place boundaries, so I am able to accept their views and feel at peace with myself when I am with them.
You can have a difference of opinion with people and still be able to love them and spend time with them. At the end of the day, they are just doing what they believe is right for them. I want to believe in a world that will come out on the right side and figure it out. If I cut out everyone just because they don’t believe in all the same things I do how can I learn to be better? How can I learn at all? A boundary isn’t about the other person, a boundary is about you saying, “this is what I need, can you respect it for me?”. In my experience, the people who are unwilling will fall out on their own and the people who are meant to stick around will meet you with open conversations and a willingness to understand you.
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