The Bargaining of Time

It’s never a good sign when I nap all day

We’re long past tasks and cleaning

We’ve moved on to day dreaming

Something, anything to keep the shadows at bay

“You’re to many things, you give love all wrong”

“You can’t hide your feelings, or you show up too strong.”

I get lost in my head and I can’t drag myself out

So I crawl back in bed, while my subconscious finds a new route

I’ve walked through the doorway and locked it behind

An intentional headspace I won’t let you find

There’s witches and warlocks, dark roads and strange sounds

Sometimes there’s magic, carnival games and a merry-go-round

I can barter for answers with time out of my day

Let the world pass me by while I sleep it away

I’ve got questions and problems I don’t want you to see

But it feels almost as if you’re the one hiding something from me

You don’t want to cause heartache with attachments and conditions

Is it really your choice though? I don’t need your permissions

We’re tiptoeing the subject in our own crooked dialect

But I’ll keep you talking, you won’t see my misdirect

I can feel the doubt creeping, I know how this goes

I’m a master at hiding my lowest of lows

The darkness is calling, I can hear his echoes

Watch me dissolve as I become the shadows

We’re stuck in past traumas with triggers like shackles

Bound together but separate as we fight our internal battles

My mind is the ring master, he’ll take his last bow

This won’t be forever, this is only for now